My search for my life’s purpose began about a year and a half ago. I was going through the hardest part of my life so far. My husband and I separated; he decided he’d rather be with someone else. He said she reminded him of me when I was 23, and that’s why he liked her. Well, she’s 23, and I was then 28 with a job and a house and a baby. So really, who could blame him? It was devastating for my son and me. I didn’t know what to do with myself. I didn’t like my job, the novelty of making a lot of money working at my corporate job had worn off, and I felt like it was killing my soul. My son would barely sleep, he was just as heartbroken as I was, and I felt like I didn’t know how to take care of him anymore. Before, I thought he was the happiest baby in the world. At that point, he was miserable.
One day an email came into my inbox from Mind Body Green, like their newsletters did every day. The top article was about finding your life’s purpose. It was like God sent this article just for me. I did a life purpose reading with the author, a spiritual healer. Before this point, I really didn’t believe in God. Sure, maybe he existed, maybe not; I didn’t worry about it. After talking to this spiritual healer, it was like the spiritual floodgates were open. She told me my life’s purpose is to bring healing to the monkeys and jungle cats of South and Central America — healing in a spiritual, energetic way, healing the fears of their species. In the process I need to heal a wound for the earth. I cried when she told me this, because I knew it was true, but I didn’t have the slightest idea of how to do it or where to start. I was able to ask questions to my spirit guides during our session, and it came up that ayahuasca was huge for my life purpose.
I didn’t have the slightest clue about ayahuasca when she told me this. My ex-husband is from the jungle city of Pucallpa, Peru, so I had heard about it. I had lived back and forth between Peru and the U.S. for the last 7 years. I asked him if we could drink it while we were together, but we never made it happen. I knew it would give visions, but that is about it.
I knew what I had to do. I was so miserable in Seattle that I quit my job, packed everything up, and decided I was coming back to the Amazon. In my original life purpose reading, I asked where I should start my mission, and Iquitos, Peru came up as the best place. There were some detours in getting there, but I finally made my way to Iquitos, where I had to be.
It took me about three months in Iquitos to drink ayahuasca. I was scared, and I wanted to drink it with someone that I trusted. I ended up drinking it with the first person I met in Iquitos, a guy that was sitting next to me at a restaurant on the boulevard months ago. I know our meeting was not a coincidence. I still drink at his ayahuasca center today.
My first ceremony, I felt pure love from Ayahuasca. Like she was a warm blanket surrounding me in motherly love.
My second ceremony, I released an incredible amount of sadness around my ex-husband. I saw his funeral, lowering him down in a casket, and giving him a part of my heart before covering him with dirt. I saw his girlfriend; she was so insignificant. I cried the entire vision, which was exactly what I needed.
I started to hear about setting intentions for your ceremonies, something I hadn’t heard of before. I was still so lost about what to do for my life purpose. I was as far away from healing the monkeys and the jungle as I could possibly be. I was at a point of going back home to Seattle, thinking the spiritual healer was wrong, and calling it quits. One email and I knew I’d get my corporate job back. This was my last chance to stay in Iquitos.
I decided to go into this ceremony asking Ayahuasca what my life purpose is, and how to move forward. Before I drank my cup of that delicious tasting brown liquid, I meditated on my intention with the cup in my hand. Then I drank. I meditated on my intention a little more, as I waited for the medicine to kick in. And kick in it did. To date, that was the most intense ceremony I have had. I thought my heart was going to pop out of my chest; I had to pour water on my head to bring myself back. It was amazing and terrifying, beautiful and horrible, but incredibly life-changing and insightful.
I had a vision of God talking to me. I couldn’t see His face, but he was huge. I saw him as the Christian God, with long flowing white robes and bright glowing light surrounding Him. He started by sending a bright beam of white light through me, down my spine and out my hands, and all my chakras opened up. To this day I feel my energy flows more smoothly, and my ability to channel divine insights has increased. He showed me how God is in all of us, in Jesus, in Buddha, in Krishna, in you and in me. And then he told me what I so desperately needed to hear. He told me to bring the plants of the Amazon jungle to the world. It’s not only the people of the Amazon that need to heal from these plants; the whole world needs to heal. And that was it. That’s what I needed to know. That was the clarity for how to move forward.
So I took this insight and started working. Ayahuasca didn’t give me a plan, she gave me an insight. It was up to me how to do this. I know my strengths — internet, marketing, consulting, finance, all things business — so I decided to start Visionary Ayahuasca, where I consult for people who are new to ayahuasca, so they can prepare themselves for the medicine. When they come prepared physically and mentally, they will receive the healing and the insights they are looking for.
Apparently I wasn’t working hard enough. I had let a lot of the distractions of Iquitos keep me from doing what I needed to do. At my next ceremony, Ayahuasca let me know this. Like a stern, but loving, mother, she let me know in my visions that I needed to get to work. I even saw myself being duct taped to my office chair, with my laptop in front of me. I had very important things to do. So I did it. For months I worked on figuring out how to make a webpage, the packages I would offer, and how I would do my part in bringing ayahuasca to the world.
An Unbelievable Path
The amazing thing about your life purpose is that you never know the full path. You are shown one step at a time. If God were to show you your whole path, you would never believe it is all possible. Each person has such incredible things to do in this world. Ayahuasca has shown me that by working with her, I will heal people and be brought to the animals.
Back a year and a half ago, in my search for anything that relieved some of my misery, I found Reiki. I decided to get my Reiki I, II, and Master attunements before traveling to Peru. I didn’t do anything with it — at one point I thought I would practice Reiki in Iquitos, but it wasn’t the time. In a recent ayahuasca ceremony, I was shown that now is the time. A very tall spirit came to me, and asked me to hold out my hands. He used his fingers to draw circles on my palms, and a yellow light glowed from my hands. He told me, “Heal with your hands,” and left. Later in the ceremony, I saw and felt a golden light go through my neck and down my spinal column, through my arms, and out of my palms. Again, I heard, “Heal with your hands.” Now, when I practice Reiki, I feel the presence of this spirit with me, working to heal my clients. This is another way my life purpose surprised me, something I would not have believed a few years ago.
In my most recent ceremony, the next step on the path to my life’s purpose has been shown. I made an agreement with Mother Ayahuasca that I would bring the Divine Feminine of Ayahuasca to the world. If you are wondering what your life purpose is, ask Ayahuasca. She will tell you, if it’s the right time for you to know.