When I was a child my days primarily consisted of playing outside. As I lived in a rural area, there was always something to explore. As I grew older my parents divorced, which triggered something in me — an anger or resentment towards my family, which was soon to be destroyed.
I was lost and beginning to lose my spirituality as my family members are traditional Lutherans. I did not agree that their God was such a punishing entity and started looking for the truth in spirituality.
During my late teens up to the age of approximately 35, I had been in and out of traditional treatment centers for alcohol / substance abuse. They preach abstinence from all drugs or mind altering substances.
After learning that the founders of the 12- Step program that we have all heard of, or been a part of, used LSD in the beginning of their research to the cure of alcoholism, I became curious as to what they saw and what their experience with the substance was.
After a few encounters with street LSD, I was becoming untrusting of the quality of the substances I was ingesting, which brought me to researching the synthesis of LSD. I found that without a good understanding of organic chemistry and associated equipment, it was just not feasible for me to make the substance. I researched more and found a book by [Jonathan] Ott.
While researching the Aztec and Mayan cultures I found they considered the mushroom a food of the gods. I then also looked into the use of ayahuasca. All of the cultures using these substances seemed to find peace and understanding. Although the Mayan and Aztecs could be a very brutal culture, I overlooked some of their religious practices, which are unspeakable atrocities in this day and age.
Up to the age of approximately 35, I was a practicing alcoholic and dabbled in other drugs. Angry at the world, I found it almost impossible to find peace and understanding.
When learning of the use of entheogens to treat alcohol / drug abuse, I was intrigued and figured I had nothing left to lose — after all I had already destroyed one marriage and was working on my next.
The teachings and writings of Maria Sabina was a big influence into the understanding and respect that must be given to these natural healing substances. I never trusted street dealers, as with so many compounds out there I was concerned about quality.
After some experimentation with mushrooms something changed inside of me, I learned of altruism and that we as a species of this planet must learn to co-exist in peace. This was a game changer; I started looking at everyday things such as trees, grass, bugs, etc., [and realized they] were just as important as humanity. We all have to learn to respect life, including our own. This could be considered a paradigm shift, enlightenment…
In closing, today I have been away from alcohol’s deadly influence for approximately eleven to twelve years. I find no happiness or enlightenment in consuming drugs such as cocaine, heroin, etc. It was an amazing transformation. I give credit to the mushrooms as they are true teachers if the student is ready….
Bless you all…