Personal Story: I’m Still Struggling With Substance Abuse, But Psychedelics Have Helped

Photo by David Goehring - Flickr Creative Commons

 
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by C

on February 17, 2015

I was diagnosed major depressive disorder when I was 12 and rejected Zoloft after a couple weeks of taking it. I started smoking cannabis and developed an interest in entheogens at 17, yet only had the opportunity to explore with morning glory and psilocybin mushrooms a few times. During this time I was developing a heavy social drinking pattern and started experimenting with OTC psychoactives, most commonly diphenhydramine (an allergy medication).

I went to prison for a year at 18 and upon release started drinking heavily. Four months later I had found myself in a heavy cycle of drinking, then taking diphenhydramine. I ended up losing two whole weeks. No one knows where I was on my 20th birthday, including myself.

After that, I lost touch with reality and was hallucinating shadow people while sober. My theta brainwave production was nonexistent; I couldn’t write or dream.

Fast forward a few months and I ingested my first tab of LSD. The experience was profound and brought me back to reality a little bit. Several months after that, I had obtained a steady supply of LSD that would last for years. I experimented with high doses, micro-dosing and everything in between.

My depression disappeared. My dreams came back. My mind opened up and I let go of a lot of anger.

Fast forward several years.

On Sept. 28, 2013 my older brother hung himself. I spiraled into a deep depression and found comfort in my old friend, alcohol. In no time at all I was having six to ten drinks every night. I made several attempts at stopping but the withdrawal symptoms got worse with each attempt.

During the past week I have been micro-dosing mushrooms. Around .2 to .3 grams, twice a day. I have been sober the whole week with very little difficulty. My will power is incredible. My depression is lifted. All the petty obsessions and stresses are gone. Life is beautiful and peaceful.