mitch

Personal Story: Insight Meditation and Psychedelic Therapy Allowed Me To Heal From Sexual Abuse

 
14
comments

by Mitch Walker

on May 8, 2015

I’ve spent three and a half years using a combination of insight meditation and psychedelic therapy (ayahuasca, MDMA [ecstasy], psilocybin, LSD) to climb out of the pit I was thrown into as a child of sexual abuse.

On the “Other Side,” I have gone from a stuttering, vomiting, weeping child to a great roaring ape. On “This Side,” I’ve gone from a depressed, people pleaser who always felt like he didn’t belong to a man solidly and confidently of this world.

I still have a long way to go but there are a few things I am confident of in regards to healing trauma.

Medicine — the therapeutic benefits of entheogens are undeniable. They are not drugs. Drugs are what Pfizer wants you to subscribe to. These are medicines. And a very small amount of medicine (comparatively), used over time, is all that is required to heal. So as Alan Watts said, “Once you get the message, hang up.”

Truth is not in your mind, it is in your body, and proper journeywork is body-centric not mind-centric. If you are hallucinating you are experiencing your brain attempting to mask or reinterpret the truth, that’s a distraction, you must get back to your body. Your body does not lie. Researchers like Dr. Peter Levine are doing extraordinary work to support this.

If you’re still talking about good trips or bad trips then you haven’t even left the station.

Medicinal therapy without purpose and intent does very little. A single ayahuasca experience at a resort is fine, but it’s like the difference between travelers and tourists. You need to invest a great deal of time outside of your comfort zone if you want to understand a very rich and different world. It’s great to visit Japan for a week but it’s nothing like living there and speaking the language. Like my brother says, “It takes about a year before you begin to know a place.” The same goes for getting to know yourself.

Journeyworkers. Guides. Necessary. While the majority of my work has been done solo, an experienced guide can bring you safely through very difficult spaces.

Suffering. Intense suffering is a requirement. You can’t get to the good stuff without it.

Friends. As you change so will your friends. This is very disconcerting because it means letting go of people who you’ve come to rely on for years. But your new friends will be extraordinary. And some of your old friends, who have seen the changes that you’ve made, will come with you.

Addictions will disappear, and those that don’t will lesson their pull and become front and center in your consciousness.

Life. Everything will change. You will be drawn to some form of service. It’s like coming out of a cave into the daylight.

there are 14 Comments

Midav

is this written correctly?

Addictions will disappear, and those that don’t will lesson their pull and become front and center in your consciousness.

0
ryanmvdl34

Very cool. Thank you for sharing.

0
L'alcaloide vegetale Voacamina esercita un effetto chemiosensibilizzante su cellule tumorali farmacoresistenti mediante l'induzione del processo autofagico (Italian Edition) free downloads

L’alcaloide vegetale Voacamina esercita un effetto chemiosensibilizzante su cellule tumorali farmacoresistenti mediante l’induzione del processo autofagico (Italian Edition) free downloads

La farmaco-resistenza, dallinglese multidrug resistance, rappresenta uno dei principali ostacoli durante la terapia anti-tumorale. Infatti le cellule tumorali

0
zabelisa

Happy for you man! It is more or less what is called the “hero’s journey”. I heard about that today in a podcast on depression in which they describe it as being the freeze response (most common in sexual abuse in childhood). You cannot fight or flight, so you freeze and nothing gets processed. You get stuck with it in your body, just as you say.

0
Thomas Kerr

Mitch

I am almost speechless after reading this entry, and that is hard to do these days. I suspect there is a strong parallel between your experiences and mine, both before the healing began and after it began.

In a rather serendipitous moment, I took part in an Ayahuasca ceremony and unlocked the repressed memories of childhood sexual abuse. I continued to take part in these and other ceremonies and have reached a state of well-being that I thought was reserved for others.

I agree with every single word of your entry above. I see it exactly the same.

I chronicle my experiences with Ayahuasca and MDMA and Iboga in a blog at https://thisisntwhatihadinmind.wordpress.com

I am so happy to have found this article. Peace.

0
Mitch Walker

rapedboy.tumblr.com you might find this blog mirrors your own!

0
Thomas Kerr

Thanks for sending me this link, Mitch. Very well written and quite a similar path to mine. I will continue to follow both blogs. The network continues to grow ……

0
Mitch Walker

How you hangin there Thomas?

0
Thomas Kerr

Thanks for asking. I am doing well, but I could never have imagined the psychic distance that I had to travel towards health. A very big part of this work has been learning about my own need to discharge the pent-up physical energies that accumulate in the body as a result of trauma, something you describe well. Feeling safe is a big part of this, and as you know feeling safe involves trust, something that doesn’t come naturally to those that have been abused.

I realize that I have become student, I have become teacher, and I have become classroom. I wouldn’t give up this life without a very big fight, and that is something I could never say before.

I hope you are well. Your message is important. Are you familiar with The Bristlecone Project? Try http://bristleconeproject.org/

Peace,

Tom

0
Mitch Walker

Awesome link.

0
Thomas Kerr

Good. Spread it around. I took part and it felt good to put my voice alongside the others,

0
Thomas Kerr

Mitch, I wanted to connect you with a link to a Kickstarter campaign initiated by the Bristlecone Project. If everyone that has been discussing the issue of sexual abuse of men knows about this, maybe both the fundraising and the site itself can reach new goals. Hopefully you can send it in all the appropriate directions. Thanks, Tom

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/bristleconeproject/the-untold-stories-of-men-overcoming-sexual-abuse

0
Thomas Kerr

Mitch. I am interested in an offline discussion. Are you up for that?

0
How A Spiritual Practice Supports Ayahuasca In Personal Healing

[…] ceremonies. These ayahuasca pilgrims travel across the globe for reasons such as healing from trauma, drug addiction, anxiety, depression, and even cancer. Others simply seek to deepen their spiritual […]

0

login or signup to post a comment